October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

So, it is October. This is one of my favorite months. I love the weather changing along with the leaves. The cool breeze that blows through the hot sun. Halloween is a highlight that I can't seem to grow out of.

There is another special day in October. October 20th is my mom's birthday. This is her 50th birthday. Wow! I can't believe she is that old. For me she is suspended in time as an energenic 35 year old women. And for that purpose, and considering the year I've had, I am going to devote a lot of my blog this month to her and the disease that killed her.

I will give you some not so known facts about breast cancer and it's treatments, detection, and some information about myself that I feel I need to share with the people that love and care about me and my family.

First, some facts:
#1-
In 2004 (the most recent year numbers are available),

186,772 women and 1,815 men were diagnosed with breast cancer*†
40,954 women and 362 men died from breast cancer*†

†Source: U.S. Cancer Statistics Working Group. United States Cancer Statistics: 2004 Incidence and Mortality. Atlanta (GA): Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and National Cancer Institute; 2007.

#2-
Only 10-20% of breast cancer patients link it to hereditary, but if you have the gene called brca1 or brca2, you're chance of getting it is up to 80%.

Ok, that's enough facts for one night. I would like to start this soap box with what happened to me this year....

This past May I decided that I needed to start mamograms. It has been recomended to me to get a baseline done at 29. So, being that May 3 was the day my mother died from breast cancer, I went and did it in her memory.

I arrived at the new Intermountain Hospital, and after getting lost for 15 minutes found the office. They got me right in. They instructed me to get undressed from the waist up and put on a gown and to store my things in a locker. No big deal. I went straight into this little room with a rather large and strange looking machine. It was dimly lit. The whole process reminded me too much of a spa. But, I guess it was calming. The technician (female one) instructed me to take one arm out of the gown. She then grabbed the breast and sat it on a clear plastic plate. Lower another one on top of it and squeezed them together until it hurt. She pushed a button and 15 seconds later it released me. The pain was mild. Then we did it on the other side. No big deal. I went home and had a normal day.

The next morning, the phone rings. Caller ID tells me it's IHC. I figure they need some insurance info or something. It was the Mamo's office. Actually, the doctor himself. I thought, wow he must be a good doctor to call and give me my results in person. Well, maybe not. The radioligist had found something on the left breast and wanted a better look. So, we scheduled an apointment for the next day. Now this is getting to be a big deal.

JD went with me to the Breast Health center at the hospital, but they didn't let him come with me to the mamogram. This time it was only the left breast they looked at, but they did it 4 different times and a lot harder. After, I spoke directly with the doctor. She told me that they had found calcifications, which is common but can be a sign of a cancerous mass. Ok, I was sitting there in a gown without my husband being told I may have the start of cancer? This was definately not OK. She then told me because I have dense breast tissue and my family history that an MRI would be a good idea. I stumbled out of the room, got dressed and found JD. We talked to a breast care counselor and scheduled the MRI for 2 days later.

After 2 days of being scared, I went for the MRI. It wasn't too big of deal, but took over an hour of laying in a big tube with both breast dangling down toward the floor. Think of a massage table, where your face goes in the hole, it was like that except there was also two holes for the breasts. Great, at least they weren't stirups right ladies?

The very next day the Doctor himself calls me. At this point I had come to realize that if the doctor calls himself, it's not good news. I immediately begin to shake. He tells me that, though the left breast is fine, the MRI showed a mass in the right side. I needed to come in for a biopsy.

Holy Crap! I remember where I was sitting. I was on the stairs looking out of the window. I called JD and just started crying. I told him I didn't know if I could do this. I couldn't do what my mother did. I'm not that strong. He was reassuring that we didn't need to worry about that now. But, I could tell he was scared too. Really scared.

The soonest they could get me in was 5 days later. These were the longest 5 days of my life. I had seen what cancer does to a young family. What it does to the children to watch the person who was supposed to be super human, throw up 24 hours a day, loose her hair, grow weak and thin. I couldn't imagine how we would get through it. You all remember my hair that hung to my butt? I cut it off, all the way to my ears. If chemo was going to make it fall out, I didn't want it to be that big of a difference. I had planned on canceling a life insurance policy and get a new one. They just so happened to be overlapping at the time. Well, needless to say, we didn't cancel that. I spent a lot of time alone, not a lot of time sleeping. I prayed and we fasted. I didn't know what else to do.

The day final came for the biopsy. I wanted to throw up I was so nervous. I didn't have that gut feeling of it being benign or cancerous. I just didn't know. The biopsy was weird. They found it on a ultrasound, then numbed me up. They stuck a huge hollow needle in and extracted some of the mass...3 times. I couldn't feel anything, but I could hear it puncture the skin. The nurse even got queazy.

The results took 3 days. JD and I decided that we needed to get away from everything and everyone. We had only told my sisters. Stacie watched the kids and we headed south. We figured wheather good or bad news, I didn't want to be in front of the kids. While we were gone, I got the results. Everything came out benign. No cancer!!!! I cried like a baby. The relief of knowing that I wasn't going to die, at least not that way and not yet, was so overpowering.

I have to do 6 month follow ups for 2 years, and each time it's nerve wracking. The weird thing is, I feel like a cancer survivor. Even though I didn't ever have the disease, I feel like I beat it. I beat breast cancer.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I think we'd all be amazed at how many "close calls" are out there.

So girls, keep on doing self exams and mamo's for those of you over 35. I love you too much to chance it.