11 years can sure change the look of a family.

It has been eleven years today since my mom past away from breast cancer. I was 19, Stefanie was 15, and Stacie was 12. It was very difficult for us to loose our mother at such young ages. We all went through our own struggles in life as a result. Each of us had to over come the fact that we didn't have the love and guidance of our mother to show us the way.

We tried and continue to try to be there for each other in life, to help fulfill that missing part that we each carry around with us everyday. As part of the healing process we started a bi-anual event. On May 3 and October 20 we get together to remember mom. May 3 being the day she died, and October 20 is her birthday. Ironically the dates are 6 months apart, also May is mother's day and the race for the cure always happens the same week and October is breast cancer awareness month. These get together's started so that we could have a day where we could come together with family that understood why these dates were hard for us. As we began to heal, we have kept the tradition. Now it's a day where we can be a family. We remember stories of growing up and share stories of our mom to our husbands and children. I try very hard not to sugar coat my mother. She had faults and I want my kids to know the real her, so they hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Through doing this my kids, though never having met my mother, know her. They know her as well as they know their living grandma. They know that she hated when I wrote on myself, that she loved beets, she had the best sugar cookie recipe, she cussed like a sailor, she spanked my naughty sister with a wooden spoon (and broke it on her butt), that she worked very hard, that she loved Christmas and had 3 trees every year. They know that she got sick with cancer and died. They also know that although she is not on earth, they knew her before they came here and that she is with Jesus, and one day we will all be together again.

Life is not always easy. We can let bad things ruin our lives or we can learn from them. It may not be for years down the road, but one day we can all see the purpose for the trials that we have to go through. The hard trials shape us into who we are. The trick is to become a better person because of it, not become bitter because we have suffered. Everyone suffers in his or her own way. I don't know that I would want anyone elses trials. I have my own and deal with them as they come. It is my hope that I can continue to become a better wife, mother, sister and friend.