Moms Rock

My favorite treat ever! Carmel Apples with chocolate drisseled over them. Yum!
The kids gave me this cool Moms Rock night shirt or work clothes as I like to call them.
I think this picture looks like my head was super-imposed on a child's body. Am I really that little?

JD and the kids made me breakfast in bed. After church they worked on picking up the house and left me alone for a needed nap. After that they made me a yummy Filley Mignon steak dinner complete with bernaise sauce and crab legs (although I hate crab legs the rest of them thoroughly enjoyed them). We then took a drive to the cemetary to pay our respects to my mom, grandma Joey. I had to explain to Carson that she was my mommy. At this age they all have had a hard time realizing that I have a mom and that she's in heaven. Then it was presant time. I got paint brushes with permission to paint my bedroom AND bathroom. (this is big for me) Then carmel apples to tide me over during my long graveyard shift.

Bitter Sweet Day

Another Mother's day down. This day is always so bitter sweet for me. I tried to put on my happy face for my kids sake. Inside though, my heart is always a little broken. This year was especially strange to me.

My mother passed away 12 years and 1 week ago. It was one week before Mother's day. We buried her on the Wednesday before that Mother's day. For some reason this May 3rd left me missing her more than ever. I have found myself wanting to talk to her about raising my kids, how was I as a child, what to do with this or that problem. How do I handle a fight with my husband? All these things I want to ask her and no one else.

Maybe it's because she found her cancer at 32 years old and I'm coming up to that birthday. Maybe it's because a lot of my friends are older than she was when she died. Maybe it's because she has been gone longer than my baby sister knew her, meaning I've raised her longer than her own mother did. Most likely it's all of this.

So, if I seem a little off lately it's because I have a heavy heart. I long for the day when I cross the veil and go into my mother's loving arms. I know that she is there waiting for me and watches over me even as I speak. I was asked once if knowing the fullness of the gospel helps me deal with her being gone, the answer is yes and no. It helps knowing she's there waiting, beautiful, without pain. But it doesn't help the longing I have for her counsel, her touch, her voice today.

Softball

This year I some how got talked into coaching Avery's softball team, because I have nothing else to do in my life. This team of 10 7-8 year olds is teaching me a lot about patience, but most of all it's taught me how to be the mother of a child that some one else is coaching. This coaching stuff is hard, especially for a mother of 4. I have some special parent helpers, without whom I would no way make this work.

Avery has improved so much this year and I am glad to see her love a game that I myself enjoyed for so many years. She is a lefty hitter and we think a righty thrower, but she really could throw either way. It's disconcerting to me to try to helper her because everything is backwards. Easton helps her with the lefty questions. I know when I'm out of my league.

Dance recital(s), yes that's plural!

My girls had their dance recital this year. Avery performed on Saturday night and both of them performed on Monday. They both did awesome. Avery had both of her dances down perfect. Halle's only hang up was the little girl next to her wouldn't get off her dance house. She actually pushed her during the second show.

The boys were troopers sitting through 4 hours of dance numbers. That is 24 numbers performed 4 times. Carson loved all the modern songs and was belting out One Republics "Apologize" like he was the lead singer and Easton tried to act unimpressed by the scores of girls dancing before him....Few more years and he'll truely apreciate it.

NOW I'm a soccer mom...

It took 3 kids to become an official soccer mom. Halle wanted to play soccer this year, and although JD and I know little about the sport, we signed her up and she loves it. It's as they call it "hula hoop" ball. You could throw a hula hoop around the girls, because they all stick together in a cluster, but Halle is thrilled with all of it.

Getting a mamogram is fun to do, to do, to do, to do!

My own mother passed away 12 years and 4 days ago from breast cancer. Exactly 1 week before Mother's day. Although it has left my spirits low for every mother's day since, now that I'm a mother, I use this sadness as a reminder to get my own tests done so that I may never leave my children too early. My sister and I go every year in my mother's memory to get our mamograms done together. Although we are both a ways from 40 we are in a high risk group and figure a little discomfort is ok, because early detection is the best cure for cancer.

I myself started going a few years back and have had a few scares. The doctors don't mess around anymore. In 3 years, I've had close to 10 mamograms, 3 ultra sounds, 2 MRI's and 1 biopsy. They leave nothing to chance.

In honor of Mother's day, remind all your mother's, sister's, daughter's, and friend's to schedule their yearly momograms. Picking a week like mother's day will remind you to do it every year.

You can join our Mamo party if you want! Leave a comment with your email address and I'll give you the date and time. Or, start your own. It's a lot less scary when your not alone.

6 lbs in 3 weeks!

I am considering this my second wave. The first weight loss wave went from January 2009-August 2009, total weight loss, about 30 lbs. Last go around I kept it from by blogging world, but this next goal I plan on sharing. If not for anyone else, then for me to keep account of my ups and downs, and so I'll remember what works for me in this weight loss/health up challenge.

What I'm doing:
Weight Watchers (again)
Working out (new)

I added the gym this go around and am noticing the difference. Now I know that 6 lbs in 3 weeks is no HCG diet, but concidering this is pure diet and excercise I'm thrilled with myself.

After Aug I kept watching what I ate and lost a few more pounds. But I had a health scare that had to do with my diet. It's called hypoglycemic. It's a condition not a disease and the only thing to fix it is a balance diet. What happens is my blood sugar drops too low too quick and I get all shaky, queezy and can't think. I've had it my entire life, but by August I had lowered my sugar intake so much that I was having the "episodes" 3-4 times a day. It scared me and by Christmas I ate every sugary treat I could find. The episodes went away and it was a scary thought to go back to them.

3 weeks ago I got on the scale. Let out a blood curling scream and sign up for the gym and weight watchers on the same day.

This go around I've introduced some low calorie substitutes that still have sugar in them, and so far keeping the blood sugar levels in check and still loosing weight.

To hit this new goal I need to loose 7 more pounds. This may seem like a lot since I know I look small, but trust me folks, when you're 5'1" with a very small frame, 109 is the "healthy weight" and my goal is above that.

Next post: There's $$$ to be made as a personal trainer.